A wave of panic hit me again and Anxiety’s cold hands squeezed my heart. Its chilly breath whispered an all to well known phrase:
“You’ve got to put your life, dreams, and passions on hold. There’s no time for that. You’re a wife and a mom. You must become dormant again.”
I choked back tears and whispered:
Please God, I know who I am. Don’t let me go backward.
How was I to do this?
Anxiety’s voice rang true in my years, yet, I wrestled with it. This was not about to become my reality. This is my year. God said so. I just had to figure it out.
I could just imagine the cortisol levels rising in my brain. I willed them down as I took in another deep breath.
“No, anxiety, you will not win. You are a liar.”
Hiding in God stops anxiety in its tracks
I searched for Holy Spirit. It didn’t take long to find him. It never does. He is always a breath away (if that). His hand took mine and a warmth crept up my arm into my heart. This reassuring gesture came with a gentle whisper:
“Steady, beloved. You’re ok. I’m here”
My heart grew warmer. Anxiety slid away, albeit annoyed. I didn’t care. I was home. God is home to me. He is my refuge. His voice is the voice I want to pay the most attention too. Hiding in God is a great tactic in fighting off anxiety and I was determined to do just that.
“You’re trying too hard to do too much.” Holy Spirit lovingly pointed out.
I sighed. A regular occurrence, if I’m really honest. I want to live in the now and in peace, but, regularly push myself ahead at the speed of light.
“Anxiety only comes when you step out of time with me. Listen to my heartbeat. Feel heaven’s pace and rhythm. One step at a time. You’ll get to where I want you to go. You are where I want you to be today,” Holy Spirit continued.
One of the reasons we get anxious:
You see, anxiety comes when you and I are afraid of missing out. It comes with comparison and self-doubt (read here for my post on comparison). It’s rooted in mistrust. We stop trusting God. We doubt his faithfulness and think he has forgotten us because we aren’t like Jack Soap or Jane Doe who are involved in charity, ministry, and all these other awesome snazzy things. Unconsciously we end up trying to force God into our time and agenda instead of waiting for his perfect time.
You are not alone. Holy Spirit understands
Holy Spirit understands our plight and dilemma. Because He is the Patient One, he loves to settle his presence on us (Read here for my post on God hovers over us). The light of his glory settles upon our hearts bringing revelation to an open heart. That’s his forte – taking a closed panicky heart and stilling it with his love, affirmation, and peace. Then, he speaks his truth:
“Beloved, my time is perfect. It’s never late. it’s always on time. I don’t forget you or the plans I have for you. My eyes are ever fixed on you. Your time will unfold in a way that will be better than you thought or imagined.”
Society teaches us from a young age to compete and measure success according to tests, performance, and popularity. This is not God’s standard. He has no favorites. All that is needed is for you and me to run our race.
Focus on today
Tomorrow may never come. Today is what we have to focus on. Many today’s create a well-run path. You and I don’t need to fear being left behind. how can we be forgotten or left-behind when Holy Spirit is our companion, coach, counselor, and friend. We are memorable. Plus, Holy Spirit loves to be with us.
“You’re stuck with me, girl. I’m not going anywhere.” Holy Spirit chuckles with a twinkle in his eyes.
Continue hiding in God
I know that life will continue with its curveballs and hurdles. Because Holy Spirit is always with me and you, I have the courage to keep trying. I can keep on working towards my dreams, desires, and plans. I may need help along the way, but I’ll get there and you will too.
While I plod along, I listen to this song “Take Courage My Heart”
Will you join me in playing this song on repeat (a couple of times or more) during those days of anxiety? Let me know in the comments any song you play to encourage your heart when you’re tired of waiting and are seeking refuge in God.
PS: Worship is the quickest way to fight off anxiety. Play some of your worship music and focus on the Lord. 🙂 Let me know if it helps you.
Wife, mom, freelance writer, blogger, and artist. My life motto is to seize every opportunity that presents itself. My life's mission is to love wholeheartedly, unapologetically, and unashamedly. Read More…